Ye Olde Pensieve: July 2009

I have to say this to clear up a discrepancy with my friends: I have selective automataphobia (yes, I made that up). I am now and will always be terrified of sentient robotic life forms. I fear a robotic uprising. The Matrix is my hell. BUT I do also cry instantly at the sight of cute robo-buddies. WALL-E and Johnny-5 are too super adorable metallic loves of mine. I actually find them to be so heartwarming (in all their cold steel goodness) that I cannot watch their respective movies without looking like a snitch during his first night in prison. Frankly, I look all a quivering bitch. So let me pose a few examples and various photos so I can further drive this point home.

Example #1: You're doing the dishes and your wedding ring slips off. You casually slip your hand down the drain to retrieve it before it goes where ever the hell waste water goes and WHHHHRRRRRR you're sentient disposal turns it's ass on and you're hand is ground down to human chuck. Yes, I dream that.

This guy? Much cuter than the many appliances in your home that could lay waste to a whole family. Have you even seen Pulse? Ya... Don't.

Example #2: See The Matrix. How do we know we're not hooked up to some giant ass fucking battery supplying electricity to our automatic overlords? Ya. I don't watch that movie ever anymore.

Now this one is a little more ambiguous. I love Johnny-5 when he was self-aware and wanted to love. I didn't like his "kill indiscriminately" mode. (This blog is started to creep me the fuck out)

Who the fuck in their right minds wants to watch a movie about intergalactic belligerents wage a war on our planet? They destroy everything and kill countless amounts of people in that movie! I'd rather not. Thanks. This is the least frightening picture I can find.

Example #3: Let's say you're chilling in your high-rise building and you hear a rumble... Sounds like a train right? No, it's a giant robot fallen from the sky like an archangel hellbent on using our planet to fight a war of catastrophic proportions. No likey.

Now I don't know if this counts as a robot, on the left not Jessica Tandy, but this little guy is a good thing to stop on. He's wholesome and doesn't have any arms with which to eviscerate me. Phew.