BAH!

Why is everything today so inferior to what it was when I was younger? I have two complaints, books and television. Two of my most fave vices. I'm going to cite two pieces of shit; Twilight and Saturday Night Live.

Okay, so I know we're not living in this golden, classical era where everyone is on this epic pursuit of worldly knowledge and personal enlightenment, but holy fuck is Twilight horrible. Not going to lie, I couldn't it through the first chapter. I could feel all intelligent thought wane and my smug sense of superiority melt around me. I could have written a better book... When I was 12. And as a matter of a fact, I think I've still got some pretty viable book themes rattling around my old cranium brainium.

Drivel is not the word. And it's actually too cliche. It's just straight trash. I understand that teens and "tweens" today are a little less literate than their elders, but it's overly simplistic. It's not challenging and just pandering to the epidemic of superficiality that so many complain about today. If Paris Hilton could read, she'd read Twilight.

And you know... Maybe it's because I'm not a very "girly girl". I prefer my books to be a little more on the side of reason as opposed to love and touchy-feeliness. (I can't even describe the feeling I'm trying to convey, I'm so bad at it). But honestly, I think I just saw right through it's trendiness. Being seen with a book makes you seem more intelligent and this is the one that everyone is reading at the moment. In comparison to and in defense of Harry Potter, at least those books are imaginative and complex. Read the first chapter of any of those books and tell me the caliber of the writing isn't a little more polished and refined.

Bah. Could have done better myself.

And just a quick jaunt down Ol' SNL Lane, it used to be funny, right? I remember the cast as an ensemble of great comedians, not a hodgepodge of buffoons like it is now. Seriously. Get Keenan off that show. Get that unfunny lady off the show, you use her too much and she isn't worth a stitch. Goodness... I don't even know her name, she's the one that plays the Target Lady. Ya, I liked her better when her name was Mo Collins and she was on MadTV. And for the love of GOD, can we get a black female on their? Seriously, it's been since Ellen Cleghorne and she was straight trash, let's face it. All she had was her Traci Chapman impression or whatever she could do. And shut up, Maya Rudolph doesn't count. Fiddy bucks says white people wondered why she played Oprah.... Fred Armisen as the president.... BAH. I shouldn't long for Chris Kattan...


After searching, her name is Kristen Wiig or some crap. Ya. She makes me lose my mind.